Introducing my aspie-fibro life and our thief of always

As I struggle more and more - at least from an accumulative sense of the word - with not only striving to be the best I can be, but also to be the best support system for my daughter and my wife, it seems an outlet for my daily challenges - and occasional fist pumping achievements -  is not only a good idea, but is practically an obligation.  We all have challenges.  We all have fears and goals and ideals and responsibilities and somewhere in between we also try to have an enjoyable life where most of these things meet in the middle to our satisfaction.  But what about those who's middle ground is nothing short of a constant reminder of how even the simplest want (a good night's sleep, a pain free afternoon, an evening without anger/frustration/fear) is thwarted by an invisible outside force, a thief in the night if you will.  Except that said thief is actually a bold, unforgiving rebel that doesn't wait for night fall and instead comes quickly, without warning, any time it pleases with nothing for its victims to do but brace themselves and hope this time, their thief goes quickly and leaves with as little of them as it came for.

In my wife's case (whom I will refer to as Mrs. H), the name of her thief is Fibromyalgia, which happens to be the ringleader to other bandits called Chronic Anxiety, Depression, Fatigue, Bi-Polar and a few others that tend to come and go with the wind.

For my daughter (whom I will refer to as DD) her thief goes by the name of Aspergers, which happens to have a constant and loyal sidekick named ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder if you prefer to go by the name its mother calls it when its late for dinner.

Each time the thief strokes either of my two loved ones - which is daily, constantly - it's not always the same.  Their thieves are often as restless as their victims in that its mood alternates frequently as does its needs and the things it feel like stealing that day vary to the point where preparing for it is about as lucrative as preparing a speech for a topic that hasn't been given yet.

For Mrs H, sometimes her thief steals all of her energy to the point of total exhaustion, leaving her only option sleep, if her pain allows for it.  Sometimes it leaves her just enough energy to force her to have to choose between several things she wants/needs/ is required to do to the point where she is all but immobilized by the overwhelming weight of having to choose.  Other times it steals her ability to visit with friends, to go shopping, to lift her fork to eat without pain.  It steals away her contributing efforts at home and forces guilt as she realizes another day/week/etc. has passed that she was unable to help her hubby with all or any of the daily chores.  It steals valuable time she'd rather spend with DD.  It tells her she can't play or lift her up or walk in the park or go swimming with her or any number of physical activities.  Her thief is always watching and scorns her if it thinks she's trying to do an activity it opposes of.  It also steals her focus, her ambition, her happiness and loves nothing more than to ensure it spreads among those closest to her.

Though DD is little and inexperienced, her thief does not care.  It identifies her as easy prey and steals her happiness daily.  It steals time away from her when she'd rather be playing, enjoying friends, watching cartoons, laughing, and generally being a typical child.  It steals away so many activities that Mrs. H and I would rather be doing with her.  It isolates her and fills her with insecurity, anger, frustration, hate and loneliness among-st to name but a few.

This blog is dedicated to my family and their thieves.  It's dedicated to others suffering at the unrelenting hands of their own personal thieves.  It's also dedicated to the supporting parents and spouses like myself who can too often only stand by and watch with little to offer except understanding and a safe place to lean on when the thieves are too much to bare alone as they often are.  This blog is dedicated to sharing my journey of living with our thieves, with coping as best we can and about gathering like-minded people to share in their own journeys of similar nature.  For all the tools and resources I've picked up along my path since first joining Mrs. H and DD in their constant struggle, I've no doubt there is much more that can be done to better manage and cope with our ever present thieves and to help my family and I live as happy and fulfilled as can be and to help share what we know so that others may equally benefit from our trials and tribulations, from our battles and our victories.

There has to be.